I am a Catholic: Influence, Upbringing and Learning

Being a Catholic has greatly influenced my upbringing both in a positive and a negative way. 

A little background: I grew up in a strict Catholic family. We have traditions and “obligations” rooted in the Catholic faith that has been passed down from generations to generations. My sister and I studied in an all-girls Catholic school for 14 years.

It is because of my Catholic upbringing that I learned the importance (and sometimes my dependence) of (in) prayers, in triumph and thanksgiving, in defeat and desperation, in decision-making and uncertainty.

Chapels have been my sanctuary for years whenever I feel overwhelmed or when I feel something unnerving is about to happen. I cannot count how many times I have bawled my eyes out at our high school chapel. When I was already working, I would still visit our high school chapel even though it was on the opposite direction from my workplace.

I have owned a necklace with a crucifix ever since my junior year in high school, though the crucifix changes over the years because I sometimes end up giving my crucifix to people who I think “needs it’s guidance and protection.” more than me. I know how weird this sounds, but in my case, a crucifix helps me feel “more grounded” is situations that make me anxious.

Growing up, I have been taught (specially by the nuns) to pity those who are less fortunate than me. I would volunteer in outreach programs (I still do, but my demeanor is somewhat different now) and give alms to the poor.

Later on will I realize how these teachings I learned would be twisted and turned against me, specially by my own family. I was called weak, gullible, and “detached” from the cruelties of reality just because I was showing basic human decency. I am having second thoughts sharing about this part as this is still raw and fresh, maybe some other time?

To continue, the family tradition that I used to respect and follow has become a source of conflict between me, the brother of my grandfather and my uncles and aunts. It has become a “mini competition and a show of money” rather than a sincere devotion to the faith.

For most of my educational years, I followed the teachings of the Catholic Church by the book. I was so proud of that, to the point I have become arrogant and closed-minded about the issues against the church. The ones who taught me to be open-minded were my high school friends. They too had a Catholic upbringing but the way they discussed and talked about the flaws of the Catholic Church made me better understand my faith.

Unfortunately, when I went to college and after I graduated, somewhere along the line, I got lost again. 

I was sure about my faith and my belief, then someone criticized my way of praying being too short or being lazy. Suddenly I changed the manner of how I prayed, I then heard myself ask too much, that I would sound utterly selfish.

I was involved in church organizations that I thought, during that time, would help me in my spiritual journey. Boy was I wrong. My understanding of the Catholic faith was having an open-mind and an open heart in understanding people’s life, views, opinions and situations in life. When I joined these organizations, I was boxed in certain biases that went against my understanding of my faith. People around had the same so- Called bias and I, succumbing to social pressure, followed their belief, their norm, their views. In the long run, it became a source of internal conflict within me.

I was devoured by my pride believing I was in the right “stand”. I was a hypocrite.

Then I had my own family, I gave birth, and it took another four years after that to “rediscover” my faith once more.

For the past 30 years of my existence, I based my decisions, my views and my morals on how I was raised in a Catholic environment. Only to realize that the very same environment would be my downfall.

At the moment, I would say that I am still in the “initial” stage of my rediscovering my faith. I don’t know if it’s the pandemic or just the desperation, or maybe both? But I feel the lack of dedication and sincerity in my prayers - it’s unnerving and frustrating.

My learnings from all this, despite having a strong influence and upbringing based on the Catholic faith:

• I can still get lost and become a hypocrite.
• That understanding faith and belief, is a constant journey of rediscovery.
• Vigilance and critical thinking should be practiced when deciding once views and stands.

At the end of the day, basic human decency, open-mindedness, understanding, and unconditional love is the core of being a Catholic.

God Is Love

God Is Love (1 John 4: 7-10)

Beloved,
 let us love one another, for love is from God, and
whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because
God is love.

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that
 God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.

In this is love,
not that we have loved God
but that he loved us and sent his Son to be
the propitiation for our sins.

Gifts from God

A gift given by our family and friends are usually given to please us and to make us happy. There is not much responsibility that is attached to these gifts other than taking care of them and preserving them.

How about God's Gifts?

Like gifts from our family and friends, the gifts we receive from God are to be taken cared of and preserved, though it does not stop there. The gifts we receive from God are to be developed, enhanced and nurtured. We grow with these gifts for it builds up our faith. Of all of God's creations, we are the ones who are blessed to receive the Gift's of the Holy Spirit. The Gifts of the Holy Spirit are given to us upon our entry in the Christian world.  Though we were still young to nurture them, we receive them and some of us have already used them. Now that we are aware of conscious of the gifts we received from God, our mission is to build it up and use it for the good of the people around us. We are given gifts not only for our own growth in faith but also for the growth of the people of God. We ourselves are gifts and instruments to encourage more men and women to be closer and stronger in faith in Jesus Christ.

Human interaction is one of the gifts we receive from God. Through interaction we can move, acknowledge and experience as a group the love God has given to his people.  This is why we have families, friends and communities. We build nations in honor of our Creator. We are the stewards and the most superior of God's creations. This makes us responsible not only of our surroundings/nature, but also, we are responsible for our fellow human being. Being responsible for one another and reaching out to others are forms of spreading the love we received from God.

In the community, the term "God's Gift" is what we call our partners whom we are in a romantic relationship with. Though before we go into a relationship, we discern, pray and ask for advice from our household heads about the relationship we will be pursuing. This is no joke, for like what my "idols" told me before, "Do not be in a relationship if your purpose in merely for companionship. Be in a relationship because you already see yourself together for a lifetime." This is quite a tedious process because this specific gift from God is a huge package. Accepting this specific gift is a responsibility not only for one person but for two people who have made a commitment in honor of God. I will be creating a post to elaborate more on this specific gift from God.

God willingly provide all these gifts to us. We as his people are tasked to improve, develop, enhance and build up these gifts with other people.

Can God take back these gifts?

Personally, I would say yes, but he takes is away temporarily. Why? Why would God take it away? Because He would like to challenge us. He is the only one who knows how great we can grow. He temporarily paralyzes us to make us realize our worth. Though he does not leave us, what he leaves us paralyzed. He stays behind you, supporting you and cheering for you till you end the paralysis in your faith, until you return to his embrace. Then he rewards us with greater gifts that are beyond our expectations.

But what if I give up from the challenges he gives?

Even if you give up, he will catch you and pull you back again in the most unexpected way. He will never leave you because He loves you. Why would he create you if he did not love you?

For us to accept these gifts, we merely need to open our hearts, our minds and learn to listen to His voice in silence. And once we have accepted them, spread the love. But a word of caution, always, always be humble, for God himself humbly gave His love to us.

Who are we to be selfish and not make His love grow?

Pope Francis

The Catholic faith has always had doctrines that were too strict that it created rifts between the people.

Recently, the Pope has been in the limelight because of his past and his views.

As a catholic myself, I would say that I like how the Pope has addressed a lot of issues that are surrounding the faith.

I guess, I support him because most of the things he has presented, are also my views at a certain extent.

Please see the article below.

Even the Pope Is Cool With Public Breastfeeding

The Pope

another interesting article (^_^)

Muslim leader says Pope Francis ‘resonates with the Muslim world’

they're our brothers

"They're our brothers." -Pope Francis

God does not marginalize who are his beloved ones. Who are we to discriminate the people around us? Our mission is to spread God's love, not create more boundaries.

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/07/29/pope-francis-on-gays-who-am-i-to-judge/?sr=sharebar_facebook

Ecclesiastes 12:7

"And the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it"

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we are the reason

i first heard this song when i as part of the rerun of the play Selpie.

devotion, repentance and faith

everything seems to make better sense when you experience it first hand. every year, every holy week, we go to the province for a family obligation/tradition. someone in my mind i have imagined something going wrong during this yearly sacrifice we do and that the devotees would help us. i thought the people from our province have forgotten traditions and devotion. this year, i was very happy that i was proven wrong.

during the procession, we would expect the generator of the santo inchero to die and then it will be revived after a few minutes. this time around, the generator is dead. period. i was really panicking cause it was getting late, the night is arriving and the santo inchero has no light. to my amazement, the devotees put candles on the side of the santo inchero to light it. i was really moved and i was so happy to be proved wrong. the people in the province, despite the great change in the generation, still have devotion, was still repentant and most of all had great faith.

Lord, please bless these people who are willingly giving everything to you. they have entusted their life to you and i lift them all to you. they have taught me, never to lose faith in you. they are the real heroes and "saints" of the time.

pictures

pictures, pictures and tons of pictures!

thats what i can give.

there have been so many things i should have blogged but failed to do so.

to tell you all the truth,

i have forgotten what are the things i would like to post.

well, i decided to start all of the catch up with pictures!

first, the holy week.

second, summer vacation 2013 at candon, ilocos sur and baguio city.

third, our my saturday, april 6, 2013.

• 3K FunD Run in support or our church
• family breakfast

special photo!
 (^_^)

thankful

this day, i am thankful for a lot of things.

for the people,

for the support,

for the laughs and smiles,

for the opportunity,

and for all the blessings.

thank Lord!

God is an awesome God! (^_^)

Feast of the Holy Family

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience,

forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Colossians 3: 12-21

Source: http://www.ewtn.com/vbible/search.asp?abbr=Col&ch=3&bv1=12&ev1=21

Holy Innocents' Day

We remember today, O God, the slaughter of the holy innocents Of Bethlehem by King Herod. Receive, we pray, into the arms of your mercy all innocent victims; and by your great might frustrate the designs of evil tyrants and establish your rule of justice, love, and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen

Source: http://justus.anglican.org/resources/bio/24.html

mmc 2012

the metro manila conference is the first conference that i have attended as an sfc member.

despite the troubles that i experienced weeks before the conference,

i am very thankful that i was able to go.

it was a great experience and i am very thankful for those who helped me make this experience a great success.

and of course, thank you God for all of this. (^_^)

household

hi everyone~

update once more!

it seems like a long time since we had a household because there has been so many events last august.

so far, we have had 2 household meetings.

it seems a little uneasy when we don't get to have a household meeting.

then again, it might only be me...

missionary

we are all called to me missionaries.

we can be missionaries in our own ways.

it's a matter of dedication, sincerity, simplicity and sacrifice.

easier said than done right?

specially during this time when almost all people seems so materialistic.

it's not wrong to have things,

we should just be wary that we must not be too attached with them.

this reminds me of snufkin from the moomins.

as much as possible, he has few possessions because he sees them as a burden that ties you down

he prefers keeping the memory of the object rather than the object itself.

i know this is not something new or uncommon to hear.

the questions is, are we doing anything that makes us a missionary in our daily lives?

or do we simply take it for granted because like what i said earlier,

it's nothing new and uncommon.

*thoughts about the homily last sunday

family trip

hello everyone! sorry i was not able to blog immediately about our trip. it took some time before i could upload all the photos and i have been quite busy... sleeping that is (^_~) since we arrived, except for today, i fixed the condo. (^_^) anyways, here are the details of our family trip. (^_^)

to naga and day 1
the adventure of this family trip started when we rode the bicol express train from manila to naga city, camarines sur. it was our first time to ride this specific train and it was our first time to ride in a sleepers coach. the travel time was approximately 12 hours, but supposed to be it was only for 10 hours. we didn't mind the long travel time because we were enjoying the experience of sleeping and eating in the train. (^_~) oh, i almost forgot, by chance, señor jaime fabregas was on the same coach with us, only on a different sleepers chair/bed. anyways, when we arrived at naga, we ate breakfast at jollibee. then we visited the san francisco church. after our church visit we rode a taxi to pasacao, camarines sur. there we stayed for a night. when we arrived at the resort, we got our room and immediately prepared for the agenda for that day. we rode a boat to an island and swam there. when you look at the pictures closely, the foot of the island is not a beach. it's actually black rocks immediately meeting the sea. i was really amazed! after about an hour of swimming we went back to the resort for our lunch, which was prepared with freshly caught seafood. delicious! we had about 15 minutes of rest then we headed to our next destination, the suminabang cave, via boat. we saw stalactite and stalagmite formations. after that we went to another part of an island and we had our second round of swimming. the sand at the second venue was yellowish and we saw these amazing colored stones. we were there for quite a time before we decided to call it a day and return to the resort. it was still a little early for dinner so we had snacks, bread and whatever leftovers we had during the train ride. i had a bottle of tanduay ice while my parents had beer. my brother still wanted to swim so i accompanied him at the beach which was just a few steps from our resort. come dinner time, we had this large shrimp. yes! a large shrimp! it was the best dinner that we had. and that was the end of day 1.

day 2
we had our simple breakfast, leftover from the train ride, and then we got a taxi back to naga city. on our way, we passed by an old church, the st. joseph the worker church. we said our prayers, looked around then we continued our travel. we attended mass at the naga cathedral. after the mass, we started looking around the church. after that we went to our hotel, golden leaf hotel. though my parents did not like the fact that we were on the fourth floor, they still liked the balcony. (^_~) special mention, the doves beside the balcony. anyways, we then walked around to find souvenirs. after that we had our lunch at the mall. again, the food was delicious! despite the commercial place, the food tasted quite authentic and fresh. after our meal, we went to the supermarket to buy some food to eat during our church visits that afternoon. we passed by the hotel to drop off some things then we rode the tricycle to the our lady of peñafrancia basilica. the church was huge and there were beautiful colored glass designs. we went behind the altar and wiped the statue of the our lady of peñafrancia, and prayed for a few minutes. after the basilica, we then went to the our lady of peñafrancia church, it was the original church of the our lady of peñafrancia. the church was smaller but still beautiful. after visiting the church, we visited the cemetery behind the old church. we took pictures of the designs of the tombstones. you rarely see these designs on the present tombstones. we finished early with our church visits so we decided to take a taxi to another church which was at the other town. we visited an old church, the bombon church and the leaning tower of bombon, the bell tower of the said church. it's not clear on the pictures but the tower was really leaning on it's side. you really have a feeling that it was about to fall. after we said our prayers, we looked around, then went back to the hotel. we rested for some time before we went out for dinner. the dinner was our father's birthday dinner so we ate at a japanese restaurant. oh, his birthday was the next day but we decided to have the birthday dinner that night because the next night, we would be traveling back to manila. anyways, for dinner, we had shabu-shabu and okonomiyaki. really delicious! it did not taste commercial like the japanese food here in manila. the japanese food really tasted authentic. it was such a great meal! after eating we headed back to the hotel to rest and get ready for our last day at naga city.

day 3 and departure from naga
for our last day, we only had one agenda, to visit the museo del seminario conciliar de nueva caceres. the museum is beside the cathedral. it featured memorabilia of prominent bishops from the town, ecclesiastical vessels and artifacts, paintings and archaeological finds like burial jars and chinese wares. after the tour, we had some rest at a small shop near the area. we then headed back to the hotel to eat lunch and to prepare out things for the trip back to manila. while we were fixing our things, we noticed that it was raining. we were really lucky to finish all our visits before it started to rain. (^_^) before we left, i took a last picture of the view from the balcony, the isarog mountain. (^_^) we did not go straight to the train station since it was still too early for our train, so we went to the mall to buy food for our trip and to each early dinner. after about two hours, we went to the train station. luckily we were able to get tickets for the sleepers bad/room. we once again took our own beds, ate some and slept the whole trip. we arrived at manila after 12 hours.

my family spent most of the day sleeping when we arrived. but for me, i had a different agenda.

please see next post. (^_^)V

oh! by the way, did you all notice that i was wearing dresses the while trip? (^_~)

conferences

i attended two conferences last saturday.

the first one was an echo conference at the amoranto theater.

i did not really attend the conference, it's more of i performed at the conference. (^_^)

the second conference, i was really a participant.

it was the sfc-mmla (sfc-metro manila leader's assembly) at the afp theater.

the speaker was fr. raprap del rosario.

really amazing speaker!

not a single moment of dullness.

the talk was about "intimacy with God."

i had a great experience in both conferences.

i hope i get to attend the succeeding conferences. (^_^)

birthday!

to everyone who greeted me today, thank you very much. (^_^)

22 years!

i am thankful for all the blessings i have received, specially the year that has passed.

the year that has passed is quite challenging, to be more specific, the med school life.

i have discovered a lot of things about myself and this has helped me build my "self".

i am very thankful for the knowledge i have received,

my med school friends who gave me guidance and protection.

they comforted me in times of great distress,

and they have witnessed my tears and my smiles. (^_^)

i am very thankful for their patience with me specially when studying.

i will always be grateful to them.

i am also thankful that i am now a member of the singles for christ community.

they have been my support during my difficult moments.

the prayers and the company has helped me feel closer to God.

they have made me realize and strengthen my spiritual faith.

this community has also become my outlet in sharing my talents and finding a part of myself that has been suppressed for some time now.

through this community, i felt that have become stronger in a lot of ways. (^_^)

to all the people in the past and in the present who have touched my life,

who have inspired me, pushed me forward and pulled me up,

i thank you from the bottom of my heart.

to God Almighty, thank you for all the blessings you have given me and thank you for the guidance.

i continue life and live it to the fullest~

(~_~)

yume - dream

i few nights ago, i had a dream. rarely do i remember my dreams. but this one, i definitely remembered because of the people in the dream and the circumstances of the events in the dream.

i was in a classroom with eiji-senpai. the class was obviously about medicine. i failed in that subject and i felt so bad about it that i just quietly walked out of the room. i wandered in different corridors. the corridors were not familiar to me but they were not dark or anything. just a typical corridor or hallways of a school. i felt lonely and lost in thought while walking. i then entered a fire exit door. i saw a narrow stairway. it was neither dark nor light,  normal lighting. i don't remember seeing that staircase before but the feeling felt warm, comfortable and familiar. i saw 2-3 people coming up the stairs and passing by me. they seem to be in a procession of some sort and someone was carrying a statue of mother mary. i then saw my first year high school christian life teacher, Sir Rod Pino. i followed him ( he was also in the procession) and we followed the procession of the statue. we went up the stairs. we paused in one side of the stairway (like a mezzanine), we knelt and we prayed. after a while, we stood up and continued the procession up the stairs. only a short time passed, when i saw myself  kneeling again and praying (another mezzanine?). this time i heard the prayers of those with me but i could not distinguish what they were saying until i heard a familiar female voice behind me. she was praying for me, she was crying... for me. she hugged me from behind. i then felt that i was crying but i felt very comfortable wrapped under her warm arms. she was asking me to come back, be myself once more, forget my worries and be happy again. it was from my second year high school english teacher, Ms. Nutschell Anne Windsor.

other than being my english teacher, she was also one of the founders of the Campus Ministry Auxiliary, my main spiritual support when i was in high school. i had great respect for her in different aspects.

as i felt her embrace gently fading away, i felt more sure of myself. there was a change in the environment. i was was walking towards the classroom i mentioned at the start of the dream. i felt lighter and everything around me seemed more fresh and relaxing. i saw my professor in medicine walking towards me. she was saying something about my failure but i did not seem sad about it. i even smiled at her and said something good. she seems to be taken aback and she merely walked away.

that's all i could remember of my dream. it was like a moment of enlightenment for me. i realized how different i was years back. i've remembered how important the people in high school were for me. how they have changed my life, in a good and bad way, but most definitely in a good way. (^_^)