A New Year and On to Possible Opportunities - and Consistency

A pleasant greeting to everyone.

I started this blog in November 2009, and it has been 14 years since then. I do not regularly update, and I go on unannounced hiatus and return. But this year, I hope to revive my blog once again. Like the famous saying, "Try and try until you succeed."

Major update: I have migrated to New Zealand. The move was last August 2023 - it was in the middle of the winter season when we arrived. Four months have passed since we arrived, but adjustment is ongoing. I am grateful to everyone who has been helping me with the change - my friend Edelyn, Ley, and the principal and staff of my daughter's school.

The move from one country to another is a major change for me and my daughter, but this morning I received news about a major change once more. My husband's boss accepted a managerial position on a farm at a different region in New Zealand. Since they are a (dairy) team, we will be moving with him. The move is in June but as early as now, we are planning for it. Honestly, the move makes me nervous because my daughter and I have warmed up to the school community. This is one of the down sides of having a family while working at the dairy farming sector. Moving from one farm to another is inevitable.

Change is (definitely) the only thing constant in this world. The irony of the saying can be a hard pill to swallow.

There are opportunities I am looking forward to in the next two months. I hope I can give a decent update in the future.

I also have goals that I hope to accomplish within the first half of the year and one of those is getting a Learner's Driving License. Knowing how to drive is essential here in New Zealand. It opens up more opportunities in general and it is the primary mode of transportation here.

There are numerous events to look forward to this year and I hope I can be consistent in documenting it here.

For now, I wish everyone a happy a prosperous new year ahead of us all.

Till my next update. Ciao.

"I finally have a purpose." update

I realized it has been a month since I updated. What has happened to me so far after saying "I have found a purpose?" To tell you all the truth, not much. Everything I was planning that is related to my Caregiving plans is all at the initial stages and not much movement.

Hopefully, I can give a better update about it in the future. 💪

"I finally have a purpose."

I acquired my certificate today for finishing the caregiver course. As I was going to the training center to get it, I felt a tinge of excitement because finally, I did it! The documentation proves that I am competent to be a caregiver. When I got the certificate, I felt a sense of responsibility and pride.

"I finally have a purpose."

Please don't get me wrong. My daughter is my inspiration, but the feeling of knowing that I am a certified caregiver hits me differently. It must be out of frustration from when I was in medical school ten years ago.

It was only later in the evening that I felt the weight of the responsibility of being a certified caregiver. The pressure hasn't dawned on me yet. Right now, I am still in cloud 9. We'll see what the next few weeks will be like for me.

The journey is not yet over - it has just begun. 💙💙💙

Officially on paper

In 2011 I attended the College of Medicine of UERM. Unfortunately, it was a short journey, one year to be exact. I did not survive a year in Medicine.

Fast forward to (December) 2021, I officially passed the assessment to be a National Certified Caregiver. This year, I am planning to renew my certification as a first aider under Red Cross.

It's officially on paper!

I once told my college friend/distant cousin that I wanted to save lives but I can't do it since I could not survive med school. She said, "there are other ways."

True enough, there are other ways. 👍👍👍 Shiz-senpai! I did it!

Bills gives me anxiety

They call it adulting. I call it getting things done and being anxious the whole way.

Bills, bills, and a whole lot of bills. Here in the city, nothing seems to move unless you pay. The anxiety is exhausting me because of these bills.

Thinking about it, financially, I am not stable, and I am dependent on my husband. I could be financially independent if only I would move my ass. The problem with me is it's hard to motivate myself. I also fear that if I focus too much on being financially independent, I will neglect my daughter. As some people would say, not everyone can get the best of both worlds. One has to sacrifice one over the other. Unfortunately, most of the people around me do no think this way. They think I am just lazy, but in truth, I am just tired emotionally and mentally. Of course, nobody in my family believes me other than my sister.

Hopefully, I can be financially stable in the future when I start getting experience as a Caregiver. I am still anxious about it, but at the moment, I have to push forward to keep myself moving towards the future. I am hoping this would also open a better opportunity for my daughter in the future.

An opportunity to inform them of Death

Last July I had a post about my grandfather’s death, though my sister and I never told my nieces, and my daughter about his death. We didn’t know how to tell our children who are below the age of five that their great grandfather died and we could not even give our final respects.

Then the opportunity arrived just a few days ago.

My father sent me his laptop from the province as it does not turn on. I am supposed to have it fixed her in the city. Luckily, it was not the laptop that needed fixing, it was his power supply. My sister has the same model of laptop as my father so we tried her power supply and it worked.

My sister Rei, took the opportunity to check my father’s files for photos during our grandfather’s burial. When she found it, we decided to show it to the kids so they would know that their great grandfather has passed away.

I was nervous as I was afraid my daughter would be frightened to see my grandfather in the coffin.

My daughter understood and she even said she was sad. I eventually told her that when we go back to visit the province, “big lolo” won’t be there anymore.

My sister and I decided not to mask the topic of death to the children from the start, well we didn’t talk about it but we sort of had a mutual understanding about it. Though it was still difficult find a way to tell the kids about death. We had to make it simple and straightforward, but understandable and clear for them.

I never liked the idea of telling kids that the person is just “sleeping” just because they think the topic of death is taboo for kids. I think that the kids should be aware of death even at a young age, to help them also process their feelings, the situation, and learn how to cope, specially if they were emotionally attached to the deceased.

Children are aware of these events, but as parents and adults, it is our responsibility to teach and help them process and understand the event of death.

First half of 2020

“What is the most useless material that was bought in 2019?

...

A 2020 Planner”

This... is partly true.

The ash fall from the eruption of Taal volcano at the first month of the year, shutdown establishments, highways and airports. Limiting most of our movements due to the air being unsafe.

We thought this was just a little bump at the start of the year. Everything seemed to have been back to normal after a few weeks - or so we thought.

Come March, everyone was forced to a lockdown/ community quarantine due to the pandemic. Half of the year has passed and some areas are still in community quarantine, though some business have been reopened, most areas still feel like ghost towns as there are only limited number of people allowed in establishments.

Wheeeeeww!!!! That was depressing.

To make things a little lighter, I would like to share what I am grateful for despite the first half of the year being unpleasant.

At the first two months of the year, my daughter was able to visit to at least one province from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao.

Let me elaborate on that. We moved from Abra to Manila last October 2019. So our home base is now Manila.

So for the first day of January, my daughter and I were in the Province of Abra in Luzon.

A few weeks later, late January, we went to the Province of Zamboanga del Norte in Mindanao, with my husband who was on vacation. This is my husband’s province. We were there for about a week.

Mid- February, we went to the Province of Cebu in Visayas, to accompany my aunt who was visiting from Australia.

Despite the months after the being shitty, I look back and still feel grateful that my daughter and I were able to travel. Though, truthfully the only reason we were able to travel is because we had family matters to attend to.

What I am trying to say is, at least my daughter was able to see different places before she was home-locked due to the pandemic. 

It is within this first half of the year that I started to return to blogging and tried to revisit some of my forgotten hobbies. This is a work in progress.

That is all for now I guess.

I wonder what the other half of the year will be.

Till next time.

—- 

PS. There are other things that happened within the first half of the year, but these are family matter that I cannot share in my blog.

PSS. To those saying “ang yabang naman” or “check your privileges girl”...

I want to make it clear that the travel to different provinces were opportunities that I decided to take for my daughter to be able to see places. We don’t usually travel, it just happened that we had to go to these places and it happened that we had/ we were offered the resources for it.

I acknowledge the fact that we are one of the “lucky ones” who, despite the pandemic is still able to live comfortably. Though that does not mean that we don’t go out of our way to help in our small ways - we simply don’t post in public the kind of help we provide.

time for love

"Make every heartbeat count." -Nutschell Anne Windsor

Time is ticking. Take every opportunity to LOVE MORE

i serve for God

thank you Lord for all the opportunities that you have given me to share my talent in dancing and to serve you!

i know that statement/declaration is not enough to say how blessed and thankful i am for the talent, opportunity and graces that God has give me.

the first off the list was during our cluster sportsfest.

i was able to dance once again with my idols, mimi and che.

though short, i really appreciate this opportunity because they have been quite busy recently so i was really thankful for that moment!

second, i was given an opportunity to be part of the production team during the CFC West B Cana weekend.

in addition to that, i was the assigned photographer for the event!

but that blessing and opportunity did not end there,

i also had the chance to perform a jazz number during the event.

i was truly blessed and i am thankful for the opportunity that was given to me.

i would like to take this opportunity to thank ate Gracelyn Romero for giving me this opportunity.

thank you for the friendship that has started and the bonds that have strengthened because of these events and opportunities that i have been part of.

my service to God will definitely not end here.

the service continues and i shall do my best to accept the services that i am called to be part of.

to share my time, my talent and my treasure,

all for God and his people!

amen!