First half of 2020

“What is the most useless material that was bought in 2019?

...

A 2020 Planner”

This... is partly true.

The ash fall from the eruption of Taal volcano at the first month of the year, shutdown establishments, highways and airports. Limiting most of our movements due to the air being unsafe.

We thought this was just a little bump at the start of the year. Everything seemed to have been back to normal after a few weeks - or so we thought.

Come March, everyone was forced to a lockdown/ community quarantine due to the pandemic. Half of the year has passed and some areas are still in community quarantine, though some business have been reopened, most areas still feel like ghost towns as there are only limited number of people allowed in establishments.

Wheeeeeww!!!! That was depressing.

To make things a little lighter, I would like to share what I am grateful for despite the first half of the year being unpleasant.

At the first two months of the year, my daughter was able to visit to at least one province from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao.

Let me elaborate on that. We moved from Abra to Manila last October 2019. So our home base is now Manila.

So for the first day of January, my daughter and I were in the Province of Abra in Luzon.

A few weeks later, late January, we went to the Province of Zamboanga del Norte in Mindanao, with my husband who was on vacation. This is my husband’s province. We were there for about a week.

Mid- February, we went to the Province of Cebu in Visayas, to accompany my aunt who was visiting from Australia.

Despite the months after the being shitty, I look back and still feel grateful that my daughter and I were able to travel. Though, truthfully the only reason we were able to travel is because we had family matters to attend to.

What I am trying to say is, at least my daughter was able to see different places before she was home-locked due to the pandemic. 

It is within this first half of the year that I started to return to blogging and tried to revisit some of my forgotten hobbies. This is a work in progress.

That is all for now I guess.

I wonder what the other half of the year will be.

Till next time.

—- 

PS. There are other things that happened within the first half of the year, but these are family matter that I cannot share in my blog.

PSS. To those saying “ang yabang naman” or “check your privileges girl”...

I want to make it clear that the travel to different provinces were opportunities that I decided to take for my daughter to be able to see places. We don’t usually travel, it just happened that we had to go to these places and it happened that we had/ we were offered the resources for it.

I acknowledge the fact that we are one of the “lucky ones” who, despite the pandemic is still able to live comfortably. Though that does not mean that we don’t go out of our way to help in our small ways - we simply don’t post in public the kind of help we provide.

A month

It has been a month since I got back to blogging. How has it been?

I have been better as compared to before I returned to blogging. As a whole, I would say the results have been positive. Other than blogging, below is a list of other activities that have helped me “get my self, back together”:

• Dancing - I love dancing and getting back to it has been a great stress reliever. I am not a trained dancer, I just really want that natural high from my natural DOSE (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins.)
• Story writing - To be more specific, fan fiction writing. It has kept me more focused and I find myself learning more because I research details to make the story more accurate. I now have interest in Kyudo or Japanese martial arts of archery, though not in-depth, I still find myself reading or watching videos about it.
• Washing the dishes on time - There was a time we would just pile up the dishes and only wash it an hour or two before the meal. Recently, I started to change this habit and make sure that I wash it after every meal. “You are supposed to wash the dishes after every meal” Yes I know we are lazy, that’s why I am trying to change that. Please don’t judge. If you have been following my entries recently, I have mentioned that doing household tasks, any menial tasks, have been a struggle. Mainly because of emotional troubles, but like what I said, everything is a work in progress. Washing the dishes on time has helped me specially in the morning because I am more at ease in preparing breakfast and I seem to have more time to just be myself - not stress over dirty dishes first thing in the morning.
• Shift in social media platform - I have decided to shift my focus from Facebook to other social media platforms. It was already becoming toxic for me so I decided to move to other platforms with lesser audience and more space to express myself.

The list may still go on, I might add to the list in the future, we’ll see.

Though a part of me thinks that these are just temporary, I just try to enjoy the best of it.

I still have those moments of anger, frustrations and anxiety, though it feels more manageable and less condescending as before. Maybe I am learning, maybe I am not. Let’s see what happens.

Life goes on. Seize the day.

honoring mothers

first of all, i would like to honor the mothers in my life.

Antonia A. Carino

My grandmother from the side of my father. Thank you for taking care of me and my family. Though I was only two years old when you passed away, I felt that you have always been watching over us for a long time.

Concepcion T. Fontanilla
My grandmother from the side of my mother. We are thankful for the clothes that you made for us when we were younger and during our school years. Unfortunately we had a lot more arguments and differences as we eventually grew up. Though I still honor you as a mother for you tried your best to provide for your children despite the difficulties you have experienced.

Bernardita B. Isolana
Bjoy's mother, my mother-in-law. I was never able to meet her face to face as she already passed away when Bjoy and I met but I have heard great stories from Bjoy about her. The mere fact that she gave birth to nine boys and a girl is already a wonder to behold. I can just imagine the difficulty of raising a dominantly male household - all those testosterone. She was a great role model for her children. I can say that as I see the good values and discipline she has instilled in my husband Bjoy and his siblings.

Maria Lourdes F. Carino
My mother. Carried me inside her for nine months and risking her life to bring me to this world. I remember she would help me with my art homeworks and there was also a time when she juggled finishing college and being a mom to two girls. She does her best to provide for us but sometimes it backfires because of different reasons. There are days that we are fine together but there are days that we just want to keep our mouths quiet as to avoid saying anything bad against each other. Despite our differences I am still thankful for my mom in more ways than one.

Maria Socorro Catalina Antonia C. Contreras
My sister. I honor her because despite her age, she has overcome a great number of struggles as a young mother. I know that she is a strong person, but in the past year, she has proven to me that she has more spunk to give and I will be expecting more of that in the next few years.

Remember, being a mother is not just biological. There are "mothers" who do not fit our conventional definition of a mother, sometimes mothers are the strangers in our lives.

A great shout out to all the mothers in the world!

birthday greetings

the most epic greeting form my parents!

and the most special greeting, from my husband Bjoy Isolana. (^_^)

2minutes

long distance relationship is difficult, specially if he is in a different country.

personally, what makes it difficult is that i am pregnant with our first child and he is not with me.

the best that we can do at the moment are leave messages for each other in facebook.

of course, it was more difficult years ago because communication was more limited.

but the feeling is undeniably the same.

simple joys,
simple communication,
simply love.

 even if it was only for 2mins, it was well worth it.

leap of faith

this man wanted to have stability before he got married - a regular job, his own house, savings and enough  money to support a child. every man desire these things before they get married. unfortunately, this man got married before he could fulfill his plans.

he made a leap of faith.

the man got married and after a week, he found out that his wife is pregnant. upon hearing the news, he was now more determined to work abroad. within two weeks, he was planning to work in thailand. he and his wife rushed the flight tickets and even contacted the wife's relatives in thailand, but fate was just not on their side. the man got off loaded and he was devastated.

it has been five months since he got off loaded. yesterday, he left for riyadh, saudi arabia and will be working there for two years.

he spent the last five months understanding and attending to the needs of his wife. they spent more time together and enhanced their language of love. the world simply revolve around the couple for the past five months.

february and march 2016 passed by swiftly for the man. he finally got the "go" signal for his job opportunity to work as a dairy farm worker in saudi arabia. he has been waiting for the opportunity since mid 2015. he had to go for pre-employment procedures almost every week. this was great news for him, but there was a part of him that was hesitant.

the man had become fond of spending time with his wife that he was hoping the initial stages of the pre-employment would be delayed so he can stay longer to support his wife for the birth of their daughter.

but God has planned it all too well. despite the financial difficulty, the man as able to pass all the requirements, pay for the necessary expenses and even the things that he needed to bring abroad were well provided by family members.

again, a leap of faith.

the man left his wife to work abroad - to prepare for the giving birth of his wife and to save up for their future. he has left their fate in the hands of his great provider and life giver - God.

the man is my beloved and dear husband, Joy B. Isolana.

i am proud of him and i love him very much.

How not to speak to a suicidal person

How not to speak to a suicidal person

by Marguerite de Leon

as a psychology graduate, i know the sensitivity of such topics.

personally, it hit home.

moments

thank you my dear for making me feel BEAutiful and appreciated last night when we went out.

i love you.

♥