An opportunity to inform them of Death

Last July I had a post about my grandfather’s death, though my sister and I never told my nieces, and my daughter about his death. We didn’t know how to tell our children who are below the age of five that their great grandfather died and we could not even give our final respects.

Then the opportunity arrived just a few days ago.

My father sent me his laptop from the province as it does not turn on. I am supposed to have it fixed her in the city. Luckily, it was not the laptop that needed fixing, it was his power supply. My sister has the same model of laptop as my father so we tried her power supply and it worked.

My sister Rei, took the opportunity to check my father’s files for photos during our grandfather’s burial. When she found it, we decided to show it to the kids so they would know that their great grandfather has passed away.

I was nervous as I was afraid my daughter would be frightened to see my grandfather in the coffin.

My daughter understood and she even said she was sad. I eventually told her that when we go back to visit the province, “big lolo” won’t be there anymore.

My sister and I decided not to mask the topic of death to the children from the start, well we didn’t talk about it but we sort of had a mutual understanding about it. Though it was still difficult find a way to tell the kids about death. We had to make it simple and straightforward, but understandable and clear for them.

I never liked the idea of telling kids that the person is just “sleeping” just because they think the topic of death is taboo for kids. I think that the kids should be aware of death even at a young age, to help them also process their feelings, the situation, and learn how to cope, specially if they were emotionally attached to the deceased.

Children are aware of these events, but as parents and adults, it is our responsibility to teach and help them process and understand the event of death.