Events from last Sunday felt surreal for me.
We had our long-delayed face-to-face schedule for the Caregiver Course we enrolled in. It was a wet and cold morning. We had to go to the training center early because we had to be tested for COVID-19 before entering the classroom. It was our first time to personally meet our classmates. We felt awkward meeting everyone for the first time, so no one was chatting nor talking with anybody.
Inside our assigned classroom, there were only seven of us while the other students were in another room. The trainer took attendance and, I was the last one to be called. When I said my name, my seatmate immediately turned to look at me with enthusiasm. I can sense her smile under the facemask. She waved at me, and I waved back. I didn't think much about it.
We then moved to another room to start the training and demo. During our online classes from a few months back, I noticed that one of our trainers looked like a family friend. This trainer was our first teacher for the face-to-face. Since it was our first time meeting everyone, we were all quiet and tense. The trainer sensed it, and he assured as to ease up and enjoy learning. Eventually, we were already laughing the chatting with our classmates. We later had to find a partner to practice the skills that were taught to us. The seatmate I mentioned earlier and I have been side by side the whole time, so we decided to be partners. After a while, the trainer gave us tips and suggestions based on his experience. I really felt he was our family friend who was giving us the lesson, so there was a sense of trust and security - rare during the pandemic.
As I mentioned earlier, we partnered off to practice the new skills we learned. My partner's name is Iala, and she became my first friend in the group. For the duration of the face-to-face class, we were together. When the class ended, we decided to go home together via train.
As we walked towards the train station, Iala told me that she was actually looking forward to meeting me. This was a surprise for me. I asked her why. Her interest in meeting me started when I mentioned I was a Psychology graduate. She said that she was thinking of getting units in Psychology because she liked the principles and theories in the field. She continued her narrative and told me that she was praying that we would be in the same group for the face-to-face class. She admitted to looking for my name first on the list before her name, and she was ecstatic to find out we were groupmates. This explains why she looked enthusiastic when she found out that I was her seatmate. She mentioned how I sounded interesting during our online class and how nice and approachable I was in person.
This caught me off-guard in a big way. First of all, I have never met anyone who was genuinely looking forward to meeting me. I guess it was always me who was looking forward to meeting someone. Second, most of the people I know described me as intimidating when they first met me. As for Iala, she said I was "nice and approachable," this was only the first time we met. Third, I felt that she was genuinely listening to everything I was saying. This was because I was helping her with the skills training, but overall, she seems to be attentive in everything I say and do.
I do not want to be full of myself, but this is what it will sound like right now. For the past few years, I have never been treated this way. Iala did not question nor doubt anything I said. I was used to always "prioritizing" other people, like gesturing them to go ahead or letting them choose a seat before me. I even do this with my sister. But with Iala, it was different. She was the one who always gestured for me to go forward, to let me find my seat first, and to let me decide on small details - it may sound minuscule. But for some reason, I felt different around her. I seemed someone that was attended to. I know it sounds ridiculous, but honestly speaking, this was what I felt.
The train finally arrived at my station, and I had to say my farewell. Even after we departed, I still felt in a daze. As I walked home, I continued to ponder what had just happened on our way home. Our walk from the training center to the train station was about 15 to 30 minutes. But in that short time, I felt I was floating, entranced, and fleeting.
Days have passed, and yet here I am, immersed in the experience.
I would definitely like to share more about this in the future. But I would not know if there will be another chance - or will the next time be more personal that I won't share it in full detail but mention it in passing?
Only time can tell.
I am not sure if it is the pandemic. But this specific interaction felt strange and yet has a tinge of warmth.
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