defeat and acceptance

A bible passage well known to everyone who pray in times of hardship is Matthew 11: 28-30

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"

A few weeks ago, i found myself crying, seemingly lost and downhearted. As i was skimming through my bible, I came upon this passage:

"Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.
Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?

I am worn out from my groaning.
All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes."

Psalm 6: 1-3, 6-7

I could not hold back my tears. Upon reading this passage, I felt that God was not giving me the consolation I was asking from Him. Instead, He was teaching me to accept that I am wrong, that I am weak, that I am human and I am defeated.

Some people may think that it's negative thinking, that God would never want us to feel burdened or in pain. It is true that God would never plan for us to be harmed, and I respect those who tell me that I am pessimistic. I would like to use this medium to explain myself.

The burdens in our lives depends on how we view them. If we carry these burdens with love, the burdens becomes light. But I believe that it takes learning, experience, understanding and process to fully understand the concept of "loving ones burden."

I have to admit that I have not garnered enough experience to full understand on how to love my burdens. There are some burdens that I can bear, but there are those that just crush me to the ground. I believe in the five stages of loss and grief. These stages are usually connected to a loss of a person, but there are times that I follow these stages when I lose belief in myself and other people.

Here are a link for a detailed explanation for the five stages of grief and loss.

In conclusion, I would like to share to you that there is nothing wrong in giving up, as long as you learn from the experience and learn to accept them. There is nothing wrong if you question God why these events are happening to you, he just wants you stop, take away the negativity, fill it with new hope and go through life again. Sometimes, during your "berating moment" with God, you will have an epitome on what you should do to make things better. And lastly, there is nothing wrong in accepting defeat, acceptance of defeat means, you are humble, and there is more love than pride in what you are doing with your life.