- listening to one song repeatedly for weeks and even months.
- watching movies that I have watched before where I can predict the ending.
- waking up later than usual.
- refusing to leave the house unless it's utterly urgent.
- eating more than usual.
Back to the Zumba class. The reason my interest was piqued, only for one reason, the venue - it was at the Miriam College Integrative Lifestyle and Well-being Center (ILAW Center). Miriam College is my alma mater, and I have been aware of the ILAW Center since 2006. But this is actually the second time I availed of their services. In short, I felt "at home" with the setting.
After celebrating my 33rd birthday last April 30, I made a resolution to "do something" for my health. I would like to work on my overall health, not just mentally but physically and socially. I would steadily make plans to achieve my desire to be an EMT or somewhere near that at least. But I felt that I had to start somewhere where I know I would be comfortable trying something new.
I am not sure if this makes sense - a familiar place to start something new.
I checked the Facebook Page of ILAW Center and saw that they were offering Zumba Class. Dancing is my passion but I have always been insecure about my body and my movements. I had my doubts about going to the class but the drive to attend it was stronger.
I have no regrets. I enjoyed the session; I saw myself move and dance in front of a mirror. I was taken aback by my own movements. I felt confident, happy, and content. Didn't realize my own capability until that moment. It was tiring but it was worth it. I am not sure if this is just temporary, but I am hoping I can maintain and be consistent in going to Zumba class.
The feeling of self-care is a little uncomfortable because I feel I have been pleasing everyone around me for years, and failing. Even before, I felt that doing self-care is selfish especially if you are a mom, like myself. The internal struggle is overwhelming. This is one of the reasons why I decided to "do something" in my life. My mind is bombarded by thoughts that paralyze me to do my day-to-day activities. On the outside, I seem nonchalant, but inside I am spiraling in my own thoughts.
This is just a small step and there is a rough road ahead of me. I am not doing this just for myself, I am also doing this to better care for my daughter. There are more problems I need to deal with and I aspire to overcome them. Finish with grace and my sanity intact.
This is just a small step and there is a rough road ahead of me. I am not doing this just for myself, I am also doing this to better care for my daughter. There are more problems I need to deal with and I aspire to overcome them. Finish with grace and my sanity intact.
Hoping for consistency and a peaceful mind in the future.
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