Reason for return

It has been more than a week since I started blogging again. Just to warm up, I started with lighthearted and simple posts, some may even say superficial.

I believe it is time for me to divulge my real intention for returning.

The reason I got back to blogging is for my selfish self. Yes, you read that right, my selfish self. For the past few years, I have been struggling to find myself and I feel I have truly exhausted my own psyche. I have been excessively tired, frustrated and annoyed at almost everything. So I have decided to get back to the things I used to do that made me “happy” and one of them is blogging.

When I was younger, I always said “when you are lost, go back to basics”.

I seemed to have forgotten this line, so when I read it as I was revisiting my previous posts, I had an epitome. And so I decided to come back, on my 30th birthday.

So here I am again, rediscovering myself for the enth time. I wonder if there is a study about this? Rediscovering yourself over and over again? Maybe I will write about that in the future.

To continue, blogging is my coping mechanism. As I said earlier, I came back for personal reasons. Please do not expect inspirational, practical and even motivational posts from me. The entries here will be raw, emotional and the real me.

For those who knew me from 2013 until now, you might be surprised with the entries you see here. This is a totally different me. But for those who have known me from before 2013 like my sister Rei and my close friend Shiz, this ain’t new to them, they might even say, the real “me” is back.

Shiz might probably say “you have lost your muchness.” As I quote from Alice in Wonderland (the Mad Hatter, I think?) or she might even say, “I know you’ve always been emotional, but this has got to be the longest time that you did not bounce back.”

Well, I won’t bounce back immediately as I know, “I still have lots more to work on.” (Oh only Rei and Shiz will get this >_<) I still have a long way to go, and like before, I will take things one step at a time.

This is a new chapter in my journey called life. You are welcome to join me, and if along the way you disagree with me, and you can no longer keep up with me, then please just leave. Please don’t waste both our time.

If you say this is very selfish of me, well, I have mentioned it at the start of this blog, this is for my selfish self. This is my avenue where I can release all the thoughts in my head.

What is the purpose if it doesn’t help others and it’s just about me? I don’t have to post anything just to prove that I have my ways of helping other people. I believe the real sincerity of helping is when you do it anonymously and willing, not because of “reason”. Besides, there are different ways in helping people, just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean that I don’t do it.

So yeah, I guess that’s all I want to say for now.

Till next time.