It came to the point where I would find myself staring into nothingness, then an exaggerated bawl, to uttering profanity and then finish off feeling more anxious and confused.
Everything was in extremes and the feeling was intense that I lose myself, unable to even do menial house chores and just dysfunction in every way.
Like what I said from two entries ago, blogging is one of the things I have decided to return to, to release this balled up exasperation.
Yesterday, I decided to get back to dancing. Not formal dancing though but just moving around really and sweat out all the pent up frustrations.
It was an intense 15 minute “workout” and I was fairly satisfied.
Today was a whole other story. Once again I got caught up in the cloud of gloom. I felt it again, anxiety, uncertainty, anger and doubt, looming over me. Again, I seized to function. Aimlessly walking around the house, I could not even keep still and wash the dishes. I rummage through my contacts trying to look for someone I can talk to, but to no avail. Finally I told my sister, “not feeling well, I will just dance.”
Rei nodded and even suggested songs, I had to decline her suggestions though as I already had certain songs in mind.
Twenty minutes later. Sweaty and tired, but extremely satisfied and elated.
Totally worth it.
I thought I would be sharing an angsty post tonight, instead, I share to you my small success in my unending battle of self doubt and anxiety.
Till next time.
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