painful

yesterday,

it started out as a happy, singing, guitar playing, dancing, gift giving christmas party for the seigaku.

but it all ended in tears.

it is just too painful for me to talk about it.

for my fuji-senpai, i am very sorry for everything that happened.

i know it hurts especially that fact that this might (but i hope not) be your last christmas here in the philippines and this happens.

your concern for them, your preparations, i fully understand.

they made their mistakes and i knew very well, being with them almost everyday for four years, that they have a tendency to be like that.

they are very much easily persuaded by anybody and they really change their plans on the very last minute.

i am not defending them, it's just that i had been used to it.

i know that you are the type who likes things organized and planned,

you had a sense of discipline in you,

which is why i understood your disappointment about the accommodations and preparations last night since they said that only a few of them will stay but at the very last minute,

more of them were planning to stay.

it's hard to say this, but rei is right, our "seigaku" is not a "seigaku", i doubt that it even was "seigaku" from the very beginning.

to the rest of seigaku, it is very hard for me to be unbiased about it because i am very close with fuji-senpai.

i'm very sorry.

i know your point that we are already old enough to take care of ourselves.

we are responsible for our own decisions.

you guys want to be together during the overnight thing, i understand that.

our host really wanted you all to stay but there are really limitations.

i know that i already sound biased, but please understand that you already told fuji-senpai that you will be staying overnight.

i myself was surprised when i found out that there were more people who will be staying over without the consent of our host.

i understand your concern that they live quite far and it was already very late at night.

i know that you were merely taking your chances and we know that you are responsible enough not to venture into "such acts" while at the house of other people.

but the dilemma there was there was no consent of our host.

please understand, even in my point of view, it looked as though the respect was lost and there was a lack in staying with decisions made.

there were mistakes.

the guests not asking the permission of the host before hand

and the painful words of our host, fuji-senpai.

it was just too much for all of us.