Accomplished as a mom/parent

How do you define “accomplishment”?

In a day’s work, when do you say “I feel accomplished today”?

Personally, the definition of “accomplishment” has changed for me ever since I became a mother.

When I was still working, accomplished meant being able to pass reports on time, scheduling candidates for interview, reserving rooms for classes and other corporate or academic responsibilities.

Now that I am a mother, an accomplishment is being able to wash the soiled dishes after one meal, cleaning the room, folding clothes or having my daughter finish her meal on her own.

People would say, as a mother, that is your responsibility and not an accomplishment. I will stop you there. STOP PARENT SHAMING!

I just want to make it clear,

1. My husband works abroad,
2. I am currently living with my mom and my sister but they too have their own work and responsibilities.

So technically I am the only one taking care of my daughter and I do most of the household chores.

Let me tell you, it was harder when I was living in the province because I was living with my dad, my brother and and grandfather, who was bed ridden at that time. I was surrounded by boys, no female figure to really converse or bond with in my first three years of taking care of my daughter. But I will reserve that for another post.

To continue the post about accomplishment, yes, taking care of my daughter and doing household chores are my responsibilities, but I too get tired, annoyed and frustrated. Everyone, please stop telling parents off on what should and should not be done all the time. I swear, we already know and it is really annoying (and depressing) being told the same thing over and over again. We know it already, we just can’t adjust everything in one go, especially with my daughter, it takes time to change a routine. For a mom like me who’s whole world is my daughter, getting anything done at all is already an accomplishment.

I have had my own share of mom/ parent shaming, the heartbreaking part for me is it came from my own relatives. But nevermind that, I’ll have a whole different post entry for that (too much hate and angst there).

Seeing my daughter now, and looking back at my first three years as a mother, I feel accomplished. We both have a long way to go, but I am very proud of my daughter despite what other people are saying.

Moms, dads, parents, you are caring for your kids and that in itself is an accomplishment. But I know that feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment finishing simple household chores. Kudos for this little success in our everyday lives. One step at a time parents, we will get there.

Kapit lang guys, kaya natin ito.

We are not all in the same situation, some have it easy, some have it hard.

Accomplishment as a parent, I don’t think there is a clear definition of it, so I don’t think anybody should dictate it to you.

This of course is just my take, it may be different from yours and I respect that.

Till next time~

PS. If someone offers help, take it. This is what I regret and what I learned in my first three years. I was thinking, “I don’t want to bother anybody.” I never realized that they offered help, because they have time for you. Hindi siya nakakahiya.

PSS. For fathers out there who say, “tinutulungan ko naman asawa ko kaso ang sungit pa rin.” Try doing things that she asked you, her way. No matter how different, illogical or impractical it is, do it her way. Why? Because doing it her way gives her a level of ease and relief, in a day full of frustrations and worry. I know some may not think much of this, but as a mother, I am telling you, please just comply. Some fathers will be against this, well, like what I said, it’s just my take. My life is different from yours. So.... Respect. Peace Out!