listen, understand and talk

my father has always said that i am in idealist. he said he was also like that during his younger years. he reminds me that not everything will go my way and that the world has flaws. i know what my father said is true, but this does not stop me to think that maybe, just maybe, if people just took time to listen, understand and talk to each other, there would be less quarrels and misunderstandings.

take note, what i said is listen, not just hearing what the other has to say. do not interrupt and do not talk back when something inside your head snapped because of what others said.

understand, maybe you are thinking of the same thing, you just presented is differently.

talk, be careful what with what you say. do not talk back as though you are forcing the issue. be wary of the words you use and how you say them. take note of your tone and your volume.

some think that if you don't respond, it means you are guilty. while others think that if you respond immediately, you are defensive and guilty. i don't know if there is a "middle" or "right" way to respond, i just think that having patience in listening, understanding and talking would go a long way in lessening arguments and hostility.

cooling off before talking it over would also be good, to give time for people to calm themselves and rethink about what happened - maybe it was just a misunderstanding. though we should be wary that a very long duration of no communication or contact can lead to awkwardness and misunderstanding. it's really better to work things out as soon as possible.

lastly, we should be aware of each other's personality. others might have too much pride that they can't bear the feeling of being wrong, specially in public. some are too submissive, they can't even defend themselves when with people who are just too aggressive. difference in personality should not be a reason to just "bully" others or even be "bullied" by others. you know your personality, this means that you also have the responsibility to know when to be humble and accept your mistakes or when to assert yourself, all in the right time.

i know this is too idealistic, but i hope that's not a reason for people not to try.

i know what i wrote is not even new, maybe it's just me, but i don't think others are making an effort to do it.

all of this is just my opinion, you are very welcome to say/comment anything pro or against what i wrote. maybe i'll also learn from what others have to say. (^_^)